Friends....!!!!
Rakesh
Jaitley, my colleague in Oracle and a very good friend inspired me to write
this theme on Friends.. You feel humbled
when someone like Rakesh says he loved reading what you wrote..For I have not
known many like him, who takes life like a song..and most times, literally.. He
is one of the happiest people I have come across and optimism takes notes from
him when things are down…
There
have been many friends I have in life and I will for sure take all of your
names in my blog over time…for each one of you have made me what I am today..in
your own ways…
This
was during my initial lonely days in Bangalore, when I was totally irritated
with my parent’s decision to bring me to Bangalore from Mysore..I had been
distanced from Billa and Phani…and the gang of boys and girls who all joined
colleges together or atleast near to each other and met everyday… However, back
here, I had no friends to even to talk..no fun..and to top it all, Dad got me
into a college full of nerds.. and top 100 rank-holders in the State..now, Imagine
me, someone who played cricket, in between the morning and afternoon papers
during the English final exam in 10th..to walk into a class with
people who asked your name and marks in the same breath… Now, who in their sane
mind will not stereo-type these rank holders..:-) So I branded them aliens and
I was the only one who didn’t feel part of those 100 guys inside that class..
till…:-)
I
eventually met a girl, when her brother put his bike’s front wheel right inside
my 2 legs …with the girl in the back seat..I didn’t even hear a sorry from
Mahesh…but was looking at his sister behind…who was also a rank holder, but
didn’t ask my marks ever..who had beautiful eyes and they didn’t search for my
test results ever…who had a smile for everyone around her but never looked at
me into my eyes.. And contrastingly sat in the first bench but didn’t look
studious or never was a nerd…
I
remember the first time she spoke to me in the stairs when I was walking like a
dead body.. and she asked me if I could dance..:-) For heaven’s sake…that’s the
last thing in the world I know to do..and I did the best thing I knew… I ran !!
The
inside news was that her partner, the best man of the class, our leader Ajay
was elected to something bigger post than he already was…and had ditched being
part of this dance team, which had practiced for the college event.. and their
back up plan was a six footer..who didn’t shake anything..Forget a leg…
So
the hunt was on for a guy in the class who is short and can dance… and the
stars played a role for me to be the one… who will make sure our class had participation
at least ..not losing face in front of the entire college..its a different
matter altogether that we went on to win the first prize and then did a show
again for inter college and blah blah blah…no one realized that I got the most
out of this entire exercise… I got Jo..!!!
Like
this, you meet people in most unexpected scenarios…and spend some time with
them..at home or at hostel or on the journey or on a tour or at work…and before
you realize.. you get involved..!! you
will start slowly liking them for their personality..for their kindness to
you…and you start missing them when they aren’t around you.. Yes, you will have to see them in their elements to
be really get involved… It would be stupid of me to say that this happens for
only people in college. There is no age bar for finding a new friend…anyways,
that’s a deviation from my PUC days…will have another blog for this :-)
Becoming
popular has its own good things.. I remember after the dance on stage, when I
was still getting my legs into my pants in a empty classroom, Jo comes in and says that there are 2 girls
waiting out to meet me..! Now that’s something that would happen to me normally
if I have stolen their tiffin boxes or someone wrote them love letters with my
name at the end… when they said they loved my eyes on stage and came to
congratulate me… I was most embarrassed..Especially when Jo burst out in
laughter..!!
I don’t remember those girls now but will always remember the PUC
life for Jo.. as she was the only one in those years... who tolerated me and
was my only friend apart from Ganapathi..my classmate..bus mate and only mentor
who made sure I passed PUC, both years :-) For all the crushes I had
and all the talk…not a single girl apart from Jo who missed me those years if I
was on leave…and the reason was there to see… everyone was taller than me !!!:-)) jokes apart, I found a friend
in Jo when I was going down in life and was becoming an alien all by myself…
I
never believe that a boy and a girl could be just friends.. unless one of them
is lying about it J I know Sumathi will kill me for this…she is the only
one I have who is my friend without a hint of anything else between us.. Rest
all have either kicked me out after I flirted with them / or no longer friends
with me for I didn’t value their friendship…or they got married and feel it’s
wrong to fall in love!!
Ok Ok…
I was just kidding… Friends are unbiased for gender…looks…status ..money.. I
know I know..but what is an Adarsh’s blog
without some spice uh..??
I
have had girl friends from my primary days.. my little sister knows them
all..and thankfully doesn’t remember most of them.. I would put them as “ Curious
“ for Primary School days…. “ Crush” for High School days… “ First love”.. in
PUC … and anything beyond your study days ,when you are earning and fall in
love , …” Mature”. When you fall in
love really late in life…after thirties… “ Just Awesome” :-)
Now,
the only friendship that doesn’t change is between boys… or between girls.. ( Exceptions
asideJ it wasn’t legal when we were growing up ) My guys
have stuck with me just the way we met for the first time… My Tenth standard
boys are just the way they were when we were in School… Nothing comes in
between us… Money / status / job /
relationships / Ego / Attitude….I can go on.. and nothing comes between us… I
swear, you are lucky if you have one of these gangs…. I know my boys are
smiling when they read this…and girls must be asking what did we do…. Yup… You
girls and we boys changed our equations a little…or should I say, I am more
careful talking to you now..for all of us changed a bit after we got married…
I
remember Jo had a super gang of many boys and 4 girls.. I am friends with
almost all of them ; especially the 4 girls :-) .. but I remember how that
gang eventually broke…the bulb now blinking because of an handful of guys in
Deepu and Rajenish….Sometimes, I have felt guilty..probably to have taken away
Jo after marriage from them…or not pushed her enough to go and spend time with
them… I do push her to revisit them..build that gang again…but with kids on
either side of my waist…she is not that eager to do a midnight drive..or a
mekedattu these days… But the sparkle in her eyes when she speaks of these boys
and girls is the best I have ever seen… It’s closest to the way they shine when
she sees Abhi or Aditi..
The
journey with Jo is what prompted me for the title of this blog… Being an
eternal romantic at heart.. I wrote my first letter to Jo when I had still not
finished my first lesson in Trignometry.. and this time , it was her turn… to
Run!! It took us a long break from each other and when I called her after a gap
of 2 years .. all I wanted to know was if she was still angry with me or moved
on with life..!! as usual, I would have said a sorry… if she blamed me for
thinking her friendship with me was special..It wasn’t special…not only then..but for
many years to come..!!
I
had many friends during this phase too…who eventually taught me how to be happy
always… how to see things with optimism.…how to live…how to be humble..how not
to have an ego..how to be positive when things crash… and this includes a long
list of you all…especially people who are now in my home / Dubai / US / London / Pune / Bangalore / Mysore /Coorg
and Canada.. … ( just noticed..strangely,
except Smriti…none of my friends are in Mysore…only
their parents stay there :-(
You
do make many gangs of friends post your marriage… and these could be the ones
from your workplace…( always have the tag hanging when you guys meet)… or the
gang could be the one that you love travelling with… ( I am blessed Jo got
me to Prashanth and Aravind..our pillars of Neeli gang..and through them Shoba
and Nimmi).. Eventually these gangs either grow or dismantle as people marry
and have kids…..lucky to be part of the growing gangs…:-)
Like
in the case of my wife…where we shared a journey that we relate to a test
match..with 4 innings representing our journey
and transformation….phase of Just Friends…then to becoming good friends and then to
best friends and eventually Friends forever… Yup..this is the last stage where
one partner can run but can’t hide…:-)
When
you are friends forever… both of you are
there for life…despite hiccups…despite hardships…you are made for each
other..And in life, you should have more than a handful of these friends..for life is
worth living with these buddies… it doesn’t matter if you haven’t called them
or kept in touch with them for years…when you meet them after many years… it
seems as if there was no gap between your last meeting to now…Have you ever
imagined that happening with atleast one relative of yours…?
This
transformation of being just being friends to Friends-Forever happens to all of
us...and it has happened to me besides Jo…where suddenly you feel you are much
closer to someone than what you were before…like Beena , my sister…who has
become a backbone of my life after she was reborn …my high school friends…an
handful who remain and I can’t think my day without you ..… my MBA gang…where I
had the most fun as a young adult… from my days in Oracle…few in number but
friends for life…my friends from Police quarters…with whom I have grown up and
who make me laugh from my heart…my Neeli gang..without whom I feel even a
journey to market is a waste….I feel blessed…!!
I
have decided to be a nice friend… better than yesterday…,everyday… will
proactively keep in touch…will add a little joy to all of you… a small return
gift for a lovely life that you have all made for me..!!!!
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