“You are..What you are.. …when you are ALONE!!!”

Richard wrote this on our classroom’s blackboard under the thought for the day column.. This was in 9^th standard… It has stuck with me till date more than Richard has…:-)

It is so true and everyone knows it.  You will act / behave / Talk and sometimes even walk differently when you see a girl and if you are a gay, you when see a man. I am only talking about boys here…for I believe Girls are always the same. In front of others or when they are alone, they are faking :-).. ok ok..just kidding…( yeah right :-) )

It is very tough to get someone with whom you can trust to be yourself; without having to care if the other person would be judging you. So, you always will present your most polished Cheery Blossom face; which in reality is as much faking as everyone does on the first night of the wedding.

But there is hope. Yes there is. For every now and then, you will find someone, out of the blue, who becomes a partner in life, love of your life or just a friend..Who is suddenly not judging you for anything you say or do. And it makes you believe that you can thread along better..with more honesty and being yourself.

Nope.. Please don’t break your marriages based on the above line. If you think that this magical and non-judgmental person is your spouse, then, please read the one page disclaimer note below the blog. I am not at all responsible if you go tell your wife or husbands that you have a crush on your friend or friend’s friend or the milkman ; and then expect you 3 to live happily together. Hell No. Never happens. Instead, my advice for weak hearted is to always have a crush with the spouse repeatedly. Preferably your own.

Boys till their teens and Girls after their Teens;  tend to believe that they can trust in their mom for this. Yes. Moms are special..but get over it soon…she will become your friend as soon as you start the age of seeing adult films and most of the times will tend to judge you no matter you say, for she wants you to be the most ideal citizen after Balagangadhar Tilak or Sarojini Naidu, as the case may be. And once you get used to being judged..then you will get the usual opinion and you will tend to wear a mask even in front of her…mostly to please her…all life:-)

 

Don’t even start about Dad’s.. for they are wonderful. Just don’t know how to express their love to you. Always a misguided missile, he will make sure you repent the words you just said to him..no matter what it is. They tend to be more generous towards daughters, but it is always the boy of the house who broke the TV or spoiled the recorder or dropped the camera. Your girlfriend, no matter how sexy she is, will not pass the hurdle first time. Repeat the introductions with much better make up and shorter dress and you have a strong chance. Yet, you can’t tell him everything. Just hope he understands. It’s only after I crossed thirty, that I understand my dad better.. I know what he meant when he said..”Shut up. You have no idea what you are talking. Let me explain”.. Worked always….

Next come your siblings and luckily I have only one…no.. not saying that because I am greedy to keep all the assets of Dad’s for me..but it’s easy to share everything with her as she is the only one who has seen you in your growing up years…followed you step by step..adored you like god..Missed you every time you were away..Cried for you when you go away and stay in hostels.. Looked up for approvals..Even for the dress she wanted to wear..Remembered you mornings...noon and nights…fought for you in front of parents…smiled at you despite you jamming her finger in the door..Hugged you despite you shouting at her and made her cry.. Tried to match your speed in the ground..in the road..in school..in exams..in life.  But please read the disclaimer if you don’t have a sibling who never judges you..for they are always selfish for making sure you are happy. Their aim is to make sure you are happy no matter what. That’s good for you… however…:-)

I have lot of relatives..Cousins..Nephews and nieces..Uncles and aunts… One of the reasons for me to stay back in Bangalore is because of them.. the eco system…feels like we are from the movie Sathe pe Satha when we all gang up for Christmas in Coorg or for a wedding.. it’s a blast…unmatched…mostly it’s like your college annual fest..where the only thing you see around is happiness and fun. There are happy relatives…mildly happy..never happy..sometimes jealous..always jealous..indifferent and very different relatives.. some close ones will stand by you all your life. Just make sure you were a mask every time.. never offend…never talk bad…never show off..never talk or take money..always flirt..never cross the line..and you will be fine…

Now, then ..we are only left with our favorite subject… FRIENDS… you get all kinds…you make all kinds… I might have to mug up oxford dictionary to describe the different kinds of friends you make in life.. some stay for long…some stay short.. some have closures…some defy closures..many leave you..some hang on..many of them slip through phases in life never to be seen again…but if you accidentally see them after years.. it feels like the last time you guys spoke was just yesterday… some you make in school and stay till you walk with a stick.. some don’t even stick around till you grab a stick…all kinds..all shapes and all sizes.,. Friends are amazing and it takes all kinds of them to make you one of theirs too !!!

It make sense to love a friend..take mom as she tries to be your friend.. acknowledge dad as a friend finally…to trust your sibling and become their best friend..turn your cousins and relatives to well wishers…and then you have arrived in life… but you will have to extremely lucky to have all of these…and then you will be even luckier to have a special breed..in whom you can be yourself….just like you are when you are alone!!!!

This blog hereon is dedicated to five boys in my life who have grown up with me from my school days..and as our paths in life crisscrossed and eventually took us all away into 5 different continents ..we still have held onto each other… and with each other..we don’t have masks.. Sorry Richard..!! I have people in life with whom I am myself…Sorry mate.

Nope..we don’t talk to each other every day… we don’t email everyday…we don’t even wish each other for Bday’s and occasions unless the person sends a reminder in advance, on the day and follow up 5 days laterJ… but still..when we talk..we have a blast ; When we email..we spam like crazy..or when we meet… it feels like meeting your own…it’s a blast when we plan a meeting…starts from Spain and ends up in a conference call always.,.. it’s amazing to be part of this mindless , egoless and mostly selfless gang…

As I look back..it’s some of the fundamental things that we have done between ourselves unknowingly that’s helped us to be what we are today…we don’t care how rich one is..or how poor the other is…we don’t care how happy or how sad you are in life..if you have a job or not..if you eaten well or not..money is paper..Richness is  a number in the bank…not between us…we speak everything without a trace of covering on it..Absolutely no filters between mind and mouth…no spell-check in words… we joke and laugh at everything..Even death and everything is ok. 

We call names but we don’t mean it…  We sympathize on events in each other lives…we don’t remember them.. We listen to love stories and usual flops..we don’t discourage next attempt…we throw mud at each other and we don’t wipe them…..we talk about girlfriends..and always cross the line… We watch same movies…always with different people and never together.. we all write hundred responses for a single subject..and kill the only guy who delays to write in.. we support each other when some in down…usually by kicking him further down to make him realize he is still not out completely…

One of us is building his own house…with his own hands…literally.. and the only support we have given him is to tell him it looks nice..without seeing it….

The other one is juggling between jobs and continents… We all support him by saying happy journey and making sure we shall plan to be with him once he spots the strip clubs and exotic local beverages… ( ps: read the word “plan” in bold and caps)

There is another one who is turning spiritual at the prime time of his life…we support him by showing his old pictures and his skills at mesmerizing girls…he takes it in his stride to ensure he will show us the real purpose of this life.. Having Fun!!

The other one is in Queen’s own land..making sure he is taking revenge on the British atrocities for 400 years on our people..by his sheer existence in that country. We will salute him the day he washes his bum in Thames..  

Cheers

Adi